On commenting on others’ bodies

"You don't even look like you were pregnant--Just like you had a few extra hamburgers!"

"Oh, you will get your body back in no time."

"Your belly will go away soon!"

"You are already looking so much slimmer!"

I gave birth to a beautiful and healthy girl two weeks ago. TWO WEEKS.

My body is healing,  producing nourishing food for my baby, and is also none of your business.

Despite the life that I created, birthed and am currently sustaining, it seems the focus of a lot of comments has been around my body.  These comments are from loving family and friends whom I'm sure mean well, and they know that living a healthy life is important to me.

But it's also 2020, and we have no business commenting on others' bodies.  We need to disconnect the relationship between body size and worth.  Does my recent birthing experience mean less if I didn't lose the weight?  Am I less of a mom because I don't have my "pre-baby body" back (and I hate that expression--like, where did your body go?).  It is not up to us to decide how others should look, and it's definitely not up to us to tell them our opinions of their bodies.

"Relax, Katie. It's just a complement."

Except when it isn't. We don't always understand the mindset or the journey others are going through. Do they struggle with an eating disorder or disordered relationship with eating?  What about their mental health?  Are they currently going through something and their health is currently taking a back seat?   Most importantly--is their body any of YOUR business?

So let's shift the focus from bodies to things that matter, like achievements, efforts, and feelings.  Try "how are are feeling?", or "how are you healing?", or even the basic, "how are you doing?" 

Have you ever gotten an unwarranted comment about your body?  I'd love to hear your stories.